


December 21st

by backslashdelta, funidontlikeyoueither



Series: Kurtbastian 2020 Advent Calendar [21]
Category: Glee
Genre: Advent Calendar, Angst, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Married Couple, Mention of Death, Podfic Available, graveyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/pseuds/backslashdelta, https://archiveofourown.org/users/funidontlikeyoueither/pseuds/funidontlikeyoueither
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian take the next step in grieving.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Kurtbastian 2020 Advent Calendar [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035924
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	December 21st

**Author's Note:**

> we hope you enjoy the chapter :)

“Your pancakes,” Kurt says with a small smile as he looks at the drawing of the stack of pancakes on the piece of paper hidden behind today’s door.

“My pancakes,” Sebastian confirms.

“I remember the first night I stayed over and you made them for me. I was really impressed. You still make the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten.”

“What can I say? I’m a talented man.”

Kurt snorts at that. “It’s about the only thing you can make. Do you know how disappointed I was when I figured out that you can’t cook _anything_ else?” he teases.

“Ah, but who needs other food when you can have _pancakes_?”

Kurt just rolls his eyes as he places the paper down and stands up. “Speaking of pancakes, Carole is probably nearly done with breakfast. We should go eat, we have things to do today.”

* * *

Kurt steps out of the car into the grey winter day, snowflakes drifting lazily through the air. He stands there, looking around dazed for a moment, until he feels Sebastian’s familiar hand slide into his own, giving it a small squeeze. He meets his husband’s eyes, and Sebastian smiles at him softly.

“You ready?”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods.

The two men make their way slowly through the graveyard, careful to walk along the pathways marked around the graves, until they reach the two black headstones. Kurt’s hand tightens around Sebastian’s automatically as they approach, slowing to a stop directly in front of the graves, and Kurt sucks in a sharp breath. It hasn’t gotten any easier.

Sebastian works his hand free from Kurt’s, and Kurt turns to look at his husband, confused until he sees Sebastian holding out the two flower arrangements they’d brought with them. Kurt takes the offered flowers, takes in a slow, deep breath, then steps forward.

He crouches down and places the first arrangement on his mother’s grave; he still misses her, every day, but the pain isn’t as sharp any more, it’s dulled to a low throb, and it’s not something he thinks about constantly anymore. He traces a finger across the letters of her name, studying the stone where it’s begun to face from the weather.

He takes in another deep breath, shudders a bit with this one. He needs to do this. He turns to his father’s grave, _Burt Hummel_ etched into the black stone, darker and more vivid than the faded charcoal of his mother’s. He reaches out, places the flowers gently in front of the stone, and then pulls his hand back; he can’t bring himself to touch it.

He drags in another quivering breath. Since when was breathing so _hard_ ? He closes his eyes, tries to focus on the solid ground beneath his feet, the cool air in his lungs, tries not to break down right here in the middle of this graveyard, because it’s not that he doesn’t cry, it’s just that he hates losing _control_ , and being here is overwhelming, every damn time.

He opens his eyes again, slowly, realizes the snow has stopped. Realizes that at some point he must have started crying, because his face is wet, but at some point he also must have stopped because there are no more tears rolling down his cheeks. He stands carefully, not quite trusting his legs to hold his weight, but they do. He doesn’t look at the graves again as he turns, walks back to Sebastian and takes his hand.

“Let’s go,” he says quietly, tugging on Sebastian’s hand as he begins to walk back toward the car.

Sebastian just gives Kurt’s hand another squeeze and follows, and Kurt is so thankful that his husband doesn’t try to talk to him, because it’s already all he can do right now not to fall apart.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] December 21st](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100883) by [backslashdelta_podfics (backslashdelta)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/backslashdelta/pseuds/backslashdelta_podfics)




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